Heather's Journal

20 July 2009 @ 03:59 pm

I have pissed off a friend to the point that she has sent me an email, saying we won't be getting together anymore. I can't even bring myself to read the entire thing, because it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

I don't really have a coping mechanism for this. Usually I go away from stressful situations; when I was a kid I'd go to my room, and even now I generally leave, or try to find a book, or whatever. But that isn't going to work here. I can't leave my life. I can't leave my personality. I can't leave motherhood, or depression, or shame - they follow me.

I can't leave myself, and I'd very much like to just not be me for awhile.
I feel sick to my stomach.

Current Mood:

crushed

Leave a comment

10 December 2008 @ 12:50 pm

The monkey

Amelia turned three recently. My friend Amy has a mommy-blog where she keeps things like this checklist.

Your favorite toy for playing is: Hungry Hungry Hippos, probably because you just got it a week ago

Your favorite toy for snuggling is: Pink Puppy

Your favorite food is: Mini Corn dogs with Macaroni and Cheese

Your favorite book is: um, you like a LOT of books, kid... from the learning books (Shapes, Colors, etc) to the Pirate book.

Your favorite activity is: Coloring, or possibly climbing on Mommy

Your favorite place to go is: Jenny-Penny's house, tied with Grandma and Grandpa's house

Your best friend is: Aidan, and your partner in crime is Jenny-Penny

Something new that you're doing: Trying to stay dry at night

Something you've mastered: You keep showing off how well you know your colors; you use the potty pretty much all the time

Something people say about you: "Wow, those eyes...!"

Something that you're saying is: "Woogie!" And you use this deliberately because you know we have no idea what you're talking about.

Something Dad and I are proud of you for: Oh, sweetie, everything.

Something surprising about you: Lots of toddlers sing, but you're the only one I know who invents lyrics to go with tunes you already know.

Current Mood:

peaceful

1 comment | Leave a comment

09 November 2008 @ 07:59 pm

Hmm...

Me. Archaeology. Something I've wanted to be since I was 8, which was when I learned how to spell it. 'Course, at the time I thought it had to do with dinosaurs...

Assuming my research bears out and this really *is* something I want to do with myself, I had been facing a logistical challenge. I'd thought my only "local" options to pursue a degree were three hours away at IU Bloomington, but now I've learned that Purdue does have an archaeology program, the faculty have ongoing digs, and so forth.

As Adam has already told me in his own words, if I'm just pursuing another shiny, he could care less. Once I've got some actual, real answers to important questions, then he'll be ready to listen and support and all that good stuff. The Husband has said essentially the same thing, in *his* own words.

I'm not even sure I know which questions to ask to start my research, but damn if I'm going to sit here and not find out.

1 comment | Leave a comment

28 October 2008 @ 11:16 am

Ugh

I know that there are only like two or thre people who read this journal, but if you're willing, Id love to have a response ffrom you.

See, I'm living with the evr-growing conviction that I am basically unemployable. I will never get another job working for someone else, ever again, because I just don't have it in me to give a damn whether or not I show up on time.

I'd post more, but my livejournal seems to be lurching around, and I don't know if that's supposed to be part of the Halloween theme or not. (Undead Journal, they're calling it).

1 comment | Leave a comment

25 September 2008 @ 08:49 am

Thoughts

Speaking of weddiing anniversaries, we just had our eighth on Tuesday. We actrually celebrate it tonight, since that is when the sitter is free.

There's nothing like a really g rueling therapy session to make you believe you're at least getting your money's worth out of it.

I'm apparently capable of holding a grudge for thirty years, if the offense was deep enough.

I haven't done embroidery in over ten years, but given that, I'm not doing too horribly with my practice exercise thingy. Look up "or nue" online and you'll probably find decent descriptions.

WHY has my kid stopped sleeping through the night??

Leave a comment

22 September 2008 @ 04:14 pm

Ho hum

I'm not actually posting about anything relevant. I'm just tired of having my gripe about a child molester celebrating a wedding anniversary be the first thing I see on this page.

I'm considering taking up period embroidery. 'Cause, you know, I don't have *enough* other artsy things on my plate.

Leave a comment

24 July 2008 @ 08:57 am

You have GOT to be kidding me....

Okay, so it's one thing to receive an invitation to a 40th wedding anniversary celebration. It is entirely another to receive an invitation to the 40th anniversary of a guy who molested his 4-year-old daughter, was found out when the girl was about eighteen, went to jail, and the girl's mom adopted this whole "stand by your man" attitude (that looked suspiciously like "head in the sand" from where I was sitting)...

I just.

I just!

The mother KNEW this was happening and didn't throw the guy out. The guy will never be allowed to work in his field again. He's on the sex offender registry for his state. For years, possibly still, he was under a restraining order keeping him away from ANY children, supervised or not. When the rest of her family found out, they all informed her that they never wanted to see this man again, and what did she do? She adopted this tone of voice that is sort of, "well, what can you do, it's just one of those things, let's all be Christian, we forgive him" kind of DENIAL that just KILLS me!

And now they want to celebrate staying married?! What?!

Can someone please tell me wtf, because I can not figure this one out.

Current Mood:

pissed off

3 comments | Leave a comment

30 May 2008 @ 10:52 am

Language is fun

I really enjoy those moments when a metaphor is actually given a chance to be a literal fact. Yesterday the lens popped out of my eyeglasses (I'm trying to repair them right now)... and do you know WHY the lens popped out?

Because I had a screw loose.

Also, I've had three nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep. It's WEIRD.

Current Mood:

refreshed

Leave a comment

15 April 2008 @ 04:57 pm

A day of many impacts

So. April 15th. Tax day here in the US, and the premiere of season four of my guilty pleasure, Deadliest Catch.

Also, Leonardo da Vinci's birthday. He would be 556, if, you know, he hadn't died in 1519.

Also, I got the news about 30 minutes ago that my grandmother has passed. She would've turned 89 in September.

My mom found her. She died in her sleep, in her bed, in the home she's lived in her ENTIRE life.

...

Current Mood:

uncomfortable

2 comments | Leave a comment

07 April 2008 @ 04:18 pm

Anti-magic

It's bad enough realizing suddenly that you're in the process of hurting someone's feelings, or that you just did. It is infinitely worse to discover three days after the fact that you had upset people without even noticing it.

Dammit.

Current Mood:

crushed

1 comment | Leave a comment

31 March 2008 @ 04:44 pm

Henna magic

I'm an introvert. I go to parties and sit on the sidelines, or else interact really enthusiastically for about as long as it takes to exhaust myself, then go find a book and hide. But not this weekend.

Instead, I got to practice my henna skills on nearly all the people who came to Adam's party, "Housewarming III: This Time With Feeling". I had a blast, got to control my little zone of interaction and keep from getting overwhelmed by people, and made other people happy all at the same time.

Happiness is a little henna session among friends.

(I'm hoping to get copies of the photos that were taken soon.)

1 comment | Leave a comment

11 March 2008 @ 02:34 pm

Could I be turning pro?

This journal has been a collection of one-liners about pretty much all things personal.. mostly the baby, granted, but still. Having gotten the booklet accepted by a publisher, however, I'm now in a position where I need to market it; and since I'm trying to make money by other means as well, I've gone and built a blog to try and devote to the professional side of things.

And I paid good money for a website and domain, too, for the calligraphy. Haven't done much with it, yet.

I have three locations on the web to express myself. Weird.

Anyway, here's the blog - and here is the book, for anyone who might be interested.

*sigh* I never wanted to be a marketer.

Current Mood:

discontent

Leave a comment

19 February 2008 @ 08:33 am

Little known medical fact

Feeding amoxicillin to your toddler will make her pee REEK.

This post was almost a Milestone No One Likes - baby's first pinkeye - but I figured the educational value was more important.

Current Mood:

sleepy

Leave a comment

13 February 2008 @ 09:55 am

Holy crap, now what?

Um... the publisher accepted my submission. Now I need to come up with a title for the thing. Holy crap!

Current Mood:

shocked

1 comment | Leave a comment

12 February 2008 @ 08:54 am

Well, what do you know...

I have submitted my very first manuscript for publication.

Current Mood:

hopeful

1 comment | Leave a comment

31 January 2008 @ 03:55 pm

A Simple Equation

Grocery Store + Impending Snowstorm = Please Don't Make Me Do That Again

Current Mood:

intimidated

Leave a comment

25 January 2008 @ 03:39 pm

My kid is cuter than your kid, #631

Got the kid dressed in something other than jammies for daycare today, which was nice... but then she decided that she had to wear her red shoes with her red shirt today, and once they were on (backwards, at her adamant insistence), she proceeded to walk all over the place looking down singing her own version of the birthday song, Happy Birthday Amelia Shoe, which goes something like

"Hoppy Bit-tee Nene Tooooo
Hoppy Bit-tee Nene Tooooo
Hoppy Bit-tee Nene Tooooo
Hoppy Bit-tee Nene Tooooo
Hoppy Bit-tee Nene Tooooo
Hoppy Bit-tee Nene Tooooo…"

Love my kid.

Current Mood:

giggly

1 comment | Leave a comment

23 January 2008 @ 09:54 am

Is this going to work?

I'm trying to write an article and then sell it. I'm writing about my mosaics. I got the idea from a course that basically tells you how to set up an online business selling how-to papers. Thing is, I don't want to sell . I just want to write.

And I'm not all that confident that this thing will sell, anyway.

What the hell am I doing?

Current Mood:

morose

Leave a comment

20 January 2008 @ 02:36 pm

Thing I didn't know

When it's cold enough, outdoor fluorescent bulbs (like the ones in our driveway and porch lamps) will not shine as brightly.

Holy CRAP it was cold last night.

Also, Ii've caught Amelia's latest cold, though not as badly as The Husband. HE got a fever and chills in the middle of the night - I merely have a head so stuffy that I've got that weird rushing noise going on.

Ugh.

Current Mood:

tired

Leave a comment

03 January 2008 @ 08:08 am

*crackathoom*

For brainstorming, check out http://bubbl.us - it's free and nifty and I've been using it to map out some new year's resolutions. Might also map out novel ideas with it, or the family tree, or something.

Current Mood: creative

Leave a comment

Advertisement